10 Trinity Sq
Toronto, ON
M5G 1B1
416-598-4521
416-598-1432 (fax)
map

Rental space available

Weddings at Holy Trinity

weekly services
Sun. 10:30 am, 2:00pm;
Wed. 12:15 pm

email:
 the church
 the webmaster

parish staff

Abundant Loving

SARA BOYLES
Some of us have grown up not being sure that we were truly loved. That leaves us wondering about our lovability, our ability to find "home", and a dubious sense of belonging. In relationships we tend to work hard at pleasing and need a lot of strokes. Even with psychological and spiritual work on these issues and with a healthy theology we remain aloof and distant, not being sure a well rooted place will ever be ours.

In the last several weeks I have been in contact with a variety of communities that are important to me and I have experienced clear acceptance - what I think "home" is about when it is at its best. The recognition of that threatens to overwhelm and immobilize me. That may seem a strange reaction to such goodness but I assure you it is more frightening than any evil that could befall. Then, after the time of disbelief, a "whee" arises and I find a new energy coursing through my veins.

First came a high school teacher who still remembers me with pleasure (and the gang I travelled with were not always nice to her). Then came a parish community in Calgary that still wraps me up in affirmation and thanksgiving. Next comes the easy love of the folks in Drumbo who cherish me still as a daughter of the community. And now there is Holy Trinity and my sense of your generous and deep love that lives inside me. The space here has enabled me to find both roots and wings. It is like finding the beloved in whose embrace you feel known and safe (no matter the quirks). It is a place with few secrets. It is a place where disclosure is valued and the long journey to wholeness honoured. It is a place with boundaries and a sense of identity.

While I have found this place with you, I sense you have found this place with me. Our lives have grown together and even though we are about to move in separate directions I will be able to come back to this sacred place, in my inner eye, and know you love me beyond reason and beyond imagining. From that surety I will find my way into tomorrow. I take the blessing of a community of prophets, a community of people who lead but also lean on each other. I take wonderful memories of simple and exotic times, small groups and large groups, young and old, of rituals and ordinary times.

I shall miss the Ruah of God as it manifests itself in this place. I shall miss the regular contact I have with so many of you. I shall miss life on the Square and the variety of faces God shows here on a daily basis. I shall miss so much. At the same time I am ready to move into a new, as yet undefined, tomorrow. What I take mostly is a changed sense of my lovability, an optimism about finding home again and a much greater sense of belonging. I take abundant loving. Thank you.

Sara

November 30, 1999