10 Trinity Sq
Toronto, ON
M5G 1B1
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Wed. 12:15 pm
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reflections and sermons posted here are the work of individual members of Holy Trinity. Opinions expressed are those of the writer or preacher and do not necessarily reflect an official or even popular opinion within the parish.
Living into the Adventure
SARA BOYLES
Old attitudes and habits are hard to break. This morning, in my journaling, I found an old destructive attitude about myself full blown. You would think I hadn't spent hours and dollars loosening it, softening it, changing it over the years. But there it was, stuck as could be, demanding a place in my consciousness. Now when I say I want to put it aside, I am not saying I want to bury it in my unconscious or that it will disappear forever. Experience doesn't support that possibility.
My hope is to move it over again, just a little, so a healthier attitude can flourish and have a place in the sun. This requires a respectful treatment of that which makes me stuck. After all, this attitude has a long history with me. I am not sure it has ever served me well. What it did do was help me get through the moment.
Now I want more. I want to thrive, even in the "in-between" patches. Somehow, banishment does not seem prudent. I want a way of dealing with this old, broken defence that augments me as a person. In the past I have discovered that I can gently move the attitude to the side and operate from a healthier place. With time (and low stress), I find the old attitude stays more securely further away and I can deal with it more quickly when it does return.
This is true about community too. We carry myths and stories from times gone by and they don't always serve us well. Sometimes they even bring out the worst in us. Some of our defences, like some of my personal defences, probably never did serve us well but they were what we had. I know this community has grown from the good old/awful days and doesn't want them to return. To do this, we need to use our wisdom and words carefully to articulate what we want. We need to listen to ourselves and to each other, and not just to those with whom we find ourselves most compatible. We need to discern how to interpret our mission statement for this time. How are we being invited to serve the community, the wider place where we are planted and ourselves? We are to love our neighbour as ourselves - both parts. Two and two in this scheme is five. Perhaps it could be called "value added".
Let's take a deep breathe and live into the adventure.
Sara November 30, 1999 |
